Well Friday I left for my ranch, for opening weekend here in Texas. I really did not want to go, even before leaving I kept telling myself I didn't want to go, and on the way there I was like "I should of just stayed home" and I continued to think that the whole time there, especially the first night, I guess the car ride really got to me! Well my last day there, Sunday, at about 7:30 I got the first buck of the season! Its a small 10 pointer, but still the first buck of the season! So thats the good news.
Well the last few days have been bad, on top of everything I am sick, with like bronchitis or pneumonia, not sure what. I have been feeling really bad, today I forced myself to go eat dinner with friends like I try to do every once in a while, because I cant loose the only 2 friends I have left.
Than my dad goes to say if I feel good enough to go with friends, I should be able to finish my school work. I understand where hes coming from, but I dont feel good enough to go, I just cant loose my friends and make myself more depressed, I just cant!
I hate that they had to bring up the fact that I am going to pretty much be behind this whole year and probably wont even pass. Well yeah I know, but I try not to think about that because, than it just makes me think that I honestly have no reason to live. Really, I don't, if I fail than I don't go to college, and I wont have a job or good life at all, and plus to add that medically I probably wont be able to do what I want in life anyway and with no school than yeah my dreams are crushed, bye bye life.
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