New Years :)

Last night, as usual shaving my legs is torture, but last night was worse! I was crying as I was doing it.
After that torture was over, I went to bed. I started to notice my lungs were being weird. I was laying on my left side and every time I exhaled it sounded like I was exhaling small amounts three times, but I was only exhaling once. It is really hard to explain, and I have no clue what it was?
I am in a ton of pain today, with a lot of spasms!
We got invited to go to my aunts house tonight for dinner, and for new years. Not sure if gonna go or not though? If I do go I will probably just stay a little while and than have my parents take me back home, as I live right down the road from there house.
Don't feel like doing anything, don't even feel like moving my pain is too high. The pain is making me so light headed, and just feel like screaming, but I will contain myself.
I just got an invite to another party, one of my best friends is throwing a party. I told her I didn't want to drink, so I wasn't gonna go, that way I didn't have to explain I don't feel good and have then not understand like always, and plus I seriously didn't want to drink. She said that's fine you can come anyway -_-
So I went ahead and told her, I didn't feel like doing anything. Of course she asked why, so I explained. She actually understood she even asked why I don't go to the hospital. I told her I actually considered it, but decided they suck and it will be a waist of time. She told me I was crazy haha. I am shocked she was understanding, but I'm glad she was.

Burning To Death!

That is what it feels like, literally!
The blanket feels like hot bricks on my legs, and my shirt feels like shards of hot glass digging into my skin.
Wish there was something I could do, but doctors, and hospitals here suck, and don't give you anything that helps!
Only got a few hours of sleep last night, due to the pain, so I'm gonna try and get some rest. I'll try to post later.

Just Another Day.

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, and I wish everyone a Happy New Year. Hope all of us with illness have a better year. :)
Nothing is really new with me, I got Sims 3 Pets for Christmas, and Sims 3 Generations! I have been really wanting Sims 3 Pets because you can ride horses in it! So I am living my life through this game :)
I will hopefully be enrolled into my local high school as soon as school starts back up, and than I will be placed back on Hospital/Homebound. I have no idea how were gonna do this, as I need to start from the beginning, or I wont pass! So I have no clue how this will work, as I cant just start the second half or I wont know anything since I didnt get to do the first.
I have no clue what were gonna do with my back, as the brace only helps some. I have a appointment with my orthopedic at the beginning of January, to see what were going to do.
I think I also have a appointment set up with my PM, to talk about what were going to do since were fighting to insurance for ketamine right now. We will also review the cognitive test results. I think I did alright on it, it was way different from the other one I did, and much easier, and very basic. I know I probably didn't do to well on the memory part, but that is all I probably didn't do well on.
I am hoping they can do something else for me, as we wait to get the ketamine! I don't know what else they can try really because we have had most treatments already. I haven't tried lidocaine infusions, and I do know some people get those, but I don't know anything about them?

New back brace :)

I got my back brace put on today, it fits good, it did help some with the injury. It hurts my ribs though, due to the sensitivity, but I am still going to try it out some before I tell them. My mom said they can adjust it, and put padding and stuff. I am getting used to moving around in it, and sitting down and getting up but it is still difficult.


I found a house.... I am always looking at houses, because I want to move more than you could imagine. I know it probably sounds weird, as most kids don't wanna leave there friends and all that but I do! I want a fresh start at life! Plus we probably wouldn't move really that far away, but I wouldn't mind if we did. Of course I do want to stay in Texas though. I just feel like moving would give me a chance to leave my past, and kinda start over with a fresh life. If I wanted to change anything about me, no one would realize cause I wouldn't really know anyone! So I found this house, and its about 20-30 minutes away so not far at all. It is perfect, it is the perfect price! It is really nice, great size. I can have a horse, and it has a horse stall. It has a little river thing in the back with a small bridge over it which I think is really pretty. We actually just drove through that area the other day, my mom wanted to show me the house we almost bought! And it is kinda ironic it is right near that one. Kinda like it was meant to be right?
My mom for once actually didn't just say we cant afford to move and get the house ready. The asking price is really good, my mom didn't even believe it! The value of the house is really good compared to the asking price. I hope my parents will consider it, and maybe just go look at it. My dad would still work at the same place and everything nothing will really change. We are still close to all our family and everything as it isn't that far away! I want to move so incredibly bad! I want a fresh start, with new people and better opportunities, plus you cant beat the price.

Finally A Update! :)

Well lets see I got the MRI, which was very painful due to the vibrations I guess. My neck started to cramp while in there and it was just bad! It took an hour, but it felt like sooo much longer.
Our hunches were right, as they usually are sadly /: The rib is doing good now, but my lower back is the same. He said in normal people this much later it should of had improvement at least, so he is not sure what were gonna be dealing with. I got fitted for a brace, they molded a cast around my back and all that. They said we can pick up the brace on Wednesday so thats good. The doctor said to wear the brace all day and take it off at night. He will see me back in January, and take things from there.
I dont really feel like writing too much right now, but I wanted to bring this up.... I had a comment posted the other day that was pretty rude, which I deleted it of course, but in the comment it said that it is physically impossible to dislocate a rib since it is not a joint so I am a faker. So I decided I would share some things about dislocated ribs, as it is completely possible and many people with RSD have problems with dislocating ribs! If you google "dislocated rib" you get many things. Where I found out for sure that is what was going on with me was I had a book about hypermobility written by a doctor that specializes in hypermobility and in there is a section about dislocations and subluxations of the ribs and spine! Doctors have also confirmed this is what had happened to me, when I described the feeling and pain.
So for who ever wants to learn more about dislocations and subluxations of the ribs just simply google it!

This Mess I Call My Life!

When I asked what else could go wrong that was not a challenge!
So I went to the orthopedic, and it was the quickest visit I have had yet. He check my spine and said I more than likely have a two slipped discs. One from the fall in September, and one from rolling over in bed! Yes rolling over in bed, I rolled over wrong and I felt like something dislocated. I had completely forgot about this, until he mentioned the slipped disc! So that is probably why I felt the sharp pains in my rib, thinking it was dislocated. He said it was probably already messed up and about to come out and me rolling over gave it the extra push it needed. He is ordering a MRI of my Lumbar and Thoracic spine, and said we will see what we can do after we get that done. My mom asked what they usually do with this, and he just looked at her and said "well lets just see" and my mom said "I dont wanna know."
He than said were probably not gonna find anyone to come near me with a knife due to the RSD. He than said we can try injections, which I just made a face. He said "Well its better the needle than the knife." Which is true, it just brings back the memories of what has happened before and the place it put me in, and it scares me, I don't wanna go back to that. He knows this very well as he was the doctor I saw after I went down hill and hit rock bottom after the last time we did this. He was doctor before RSD, he diagnosed me, and has been with me since. Since he new me before RSD he knows how I acted, and how I was always laughing and smiling no matter what. He also saw me at the beginning of RSD, so when I hit rock bottom, and he walked in and saw tears streaming down my face, he new we needed to do something, and do something now! I always felt he understood me, because he was the only one who knew me before RSD, so he knew I was always smiling, and he also saw me at my worst.

I went out with friends the first time in a long time! Saturday, we went to the movies, and saw "The Sitter" I was really funny, and I had a okay time with them. I committed to going to a concert with them on Thursday. His mom called me a while back, and said she wanted to surprise him with tickets to see Cobra Starship in the court yard. I said yes, she said it was December 15th and was a surprise and she was going to take me, him, and another one of our friends. I cant believe I committed to this, how stupid am I? A concert really Kendall, are you a idiot!? I dont know how my body will handle the vibrations and everything, so wish me luck! Ugh, most people would be ecstatic to see a concert with your best friends, but I am actually dreading it!

Mason is sick, the urgent care sent him to the ER to be admitted to the hospital for RSV, and Pneumonia! The ER said that he had a ear infection and gave him medicine, and said that the medicine they are giving him is used to treat Pneumonia too, and if he is not better in a few days to bring him back. So tomorrow he is coming to stay with me, while his mom is at work.

Pictures Of Mason! :)

I baby sat Mason the other day and here are some adorable pictures I thought I would share.

Blah.....

Too tired, and in too much pain for a real title, so that will have to work. Just here to update you people. Lets see, Friday I drove into Austin for a doctors appointment. It was raining, so long car ride plus rain sucked. The doctors appointment really just kinda had no purpose, it went good and all the lady was nice, but nothing new or anything really. I did however get my rheumo blood stuff again, and a urine thing to check for protein in the urine. It was a really long day so I was tired, and in a ton of pain that night! :(
Saturday (Today), was my little sisters birthday party. We had a Candy Land birthday, and my moms friend brought her baby boy, who I love! So I had Mason with me the whole time, and than Stefan, my best friend came over. We just kinda hung out in my room or outside, for the first time in a long time I also went to my friends house! We laid in her bed most of the time though haha. I feel horrible right now, and my arms are very weak, like I can barley lift them, they are really shaky too. Which is making it hard to type, and I keep spelling things completely wrong! Thank god for spell check.
Well thats it for right now, ill try and write something tomorrow.

I’m Trying So Hard Not To Fall

I haven't seen my friends in forever, I haven't even really been talking to them, so last night I went to eat with my friend. I did not feel like doing anything, so we went to target, and ate in the food court. Yes I know haha. We got a small personal pizza, and than just hung out some. I was already wanting to leave within 5 minutes!
Now I am paying for it all! Little demons are having a hay day with my body, playing with blow torches, and pitch forks.
I cant even sit here and focus on what I am actually typing Erg!
Tomorrow I have a appointment in Austin with a rheumotologist. I have to wake up early, err! We have to leave by 8:30 or 9, and than drive to Austin, than I probably get to sit in the waiting room and than sit in the exam room for even longer to wait to be seen by a doctor. Ugh it all makes me tired just thinking about it.
I will probably post a little something later, but for now I am off!

Here is a song for you guys to enjoy, and happens have part of the lyrics in this posts title!