Okay well lets see, Saturday I went to a party with my momma and little sister, at my moms friends house. It was kinda boring but it was good because I just walk around with little baby Mason, but from holding him my arms got so weak and I could barley lift them!
Than Sunday which was yesterday, I carved my pumpkin, I didnt feel like carving it, but I had bought it thinking I would want to carve one, so why waist it!? Thank god, Karly took most of the insides for me! But by the end of doing that I was already so exhausted, and I felt sick! I did manage to carve it though, and it turned out pretty good!
Now for tonight, I have some friends coming over, and I am going to dress like a zombie like I did Saturday. I made my costume Saturday in 10 minutes, I got a old shirt and jeans, and ripped them up with a razor blade. I splattered and smeared this blood looking paint all over them, then I cut up a bandana and tied it around my forehead, and smeared blood on it. I than put grass stains on the jeans. I messed up my hard and made my face look more place than it already is lol, and put some black makeup on too, around my eyes and stuff!
So I have had a full weekend and I know I will regret it, I actually tried to cancel my plans today, but Stefan was all mad, and I said fine just come over whatever! Than of course he texted me "You know how much I love you?" I said "How much" he said "Look outside and count the stars"
I could of been a smart ass and said good try at being sweet and all but its day time! Haha. He probably found that on the internet and didnt even think wait its day time! Haha.
So whatever Happy Halloween, hope everyone has a great low pain day!
Now enjoy this amazing song!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Video Project!
I am doing a video project! I want anyone with RSD to help me out, spread the word, put this on as many RSD message boards as possible. I would like to get the videos ASAP, so I can get this video ready before the end of November! Here is the info!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Autonomic Dysfunction!
Okay so I decided to make a post for autonomic dysfunction. I know my body best, and although I have not been diagnosed with a autonomic dysfunction, such as POTS syndrome. I truly believe I do have POTS syndrome. The more I read about it, and the more I watch this one girl, Nina's, blog I really truly believe I have it. I have pretty much every symptoms described! And also one of the signs is you have some Ehlers Danlos Syndrome symptoms, but you don't have all, the symptoms of EDS that most autonomic dysfunction people have, is hyper mobility! Which is what I have, but they are not really flexible everywhere like with EDS, it is like they have more just hyper mobility! So that's me right there, many doctors say no I do not have EDS, even though a doctor told me I do, so now this gets me thinking well since they say I don't fit EDS I am only hyper mobile, than this fits autonomic dysfunction!
I really fit POTS perfectly, like when I read about it for the first time a light bulb went off, and I was like wow this is me! Which I love that feeling!
Earlier today I was sitting in my psychologist appointment, and I got what people with POTS describe sometimes, which this is not the first time I have gotten this, I have gotten hundreds of times! And I also noticed when I was in the hospital in PT and stuff I got what everyone describes when they do any type of physical activity! A few times they even took me up stairs to get my blood pressure and pulse, because it had been really high, and every time it was really high! And also POTS people say when they stand there pulse and blood pressure go up a lot, well in the hospital at one point they wanted to take it laying, than siting, and than had me stand and take it, because I was passing out and getting really dizzy when I sat up and stuff. They were like well that's weird we expected your pulse and blood pressure to drop when your sitting and standing and that's what would be causing this, but instead it went up a lot, well that's what happens in POTS!
So now what is autonomic dysfunction!?
Dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) is known as dysautonomia. The autonomic nervous system regulates unconscious body functions, including heart rate, blood pressure, temperature regulation, gastrointestinal secretion, and metabolic and endocrine responses to stress such as the "fight or flight" syndrome. As regulating these functions involves various and multiple organ systems, dysfunctions of the autonomic nervous systems encompass various and multiple disorders.
Persons with autonomic dysfunction who do not exhibit the classical symptoms of orthostatic hypotension may exhibit a less dramatic dysfunction termed orthostatic intolerance. These patients experience a milder fall in blood pressure when attempting to stand. However, because the patients have an increased heart rate when standing, they are described as having postural tachycardia syndrome (POTS).
Symptoms of Autonomic Dysfunction
-Lightheadedness
-Vertigo (room spinning or the sensation of spinning)
-Feeling faint (pre-syncope)
-Fainting (syncope)
-Chest pain or pressure
-Excessive fatigue
-Rapid heart rate (tachycardia)
-Stomach pain
-Intestinal cramping
-Nausea
-Vomiting
-Retching
-Exercise Intolerance: becoming short of breath on mild exertion,
having chest pain or palpitations on mild exertion. Having excessive
heart rate during or immediately after exercise. Leg cramps or
numbness of arms and legs during or after mild exercise.
-Visible pooling in arms and legs: Deep purple-red color in fingers
and toes.
-White appearance of fingers. Some present with white patches of skin
on arms and legs.
-Extremely cold hands and feet.
-Numbness of hands and feet.
-Muscle weakness
-Muscle and joint pain
-Tremors or mild shaking of hands
-Frequent headaches or migraine headaches
-Irritability due to decreased blood flow to the brain
-Feeling anxious/Having panic attacks due to increased production of
adrenaline
-Mood changes
-Forgetfullness
-Inability to concentrate or remember (frequently referred to
as "brain fog")
-Inability to tolerate changes in temperature
-Decreased sweating or excessive sweating
-Abnormal deep tendon reflexes may or may not be present.
-Basic neurological exam is normal.
-Intelligence normal when receiving adequate cerebral perfusion.
-Disruption of sleep/wake cycle usually consisting of increased
energy late in the evening and lowest energy level in the morning
irregardless of amount or quality of sleep.
-Central sleep apnea
-Need to sleep 12-14 hours in order to complete simple activities of
daily living.
-Anoxic or convulsive seizures that are not epileptic.
-Frequent need to urinate at night.
-Upon standing feels head is "heavy". This resolves with lying down
or with walking around.
-Decrease in (or absence of) lubricating tears in the eye.
-Sensitivity to bright, florescent light and bright sunlight. Many patients report feeling pre-syncopal in large grocery stores and
department stores that use excessive florescent lighting. Flashing
lights and multi-colored lighting can also produce symptoms.
-Visual distortion: Television screens and computer screens can
appear distorted, especially post-syncopal or pre-syncopal episode.
Flat screens are recommended.
-Distorted depth perception resulting in a feeling of unsteadiness.
Often appears to be "clumsy" or excessively cautious when climbing
stairs, reaching for an object, etc.
-Other visual disturbances include a graying out or blacking out of
the visual field; either partially or completely.
-Decreased awareness of what is in the peripheral visual field. This
often causes the patient to startle because they did not perceive
anyone or anything next to them.
-Frequent "bumping into things". Attributed to a combination of
visual and depth perception deficits.
-Noise sensitivity. Loud or beating sounds can cause pre-syncopal
episodes. Difficulty filtering out sounds. Easily distracted by
sounds.
-Sensitivity to odors, even pleasant smelling chemicals such as
perfume. Odors such as cleaning products, gasoline, strong foods,
etc. may cause extreme nausea, retching, vomiting, dizziness and
headache.
Decrease production of saliva or excessive production of saliva.
-Severe constipation and decreased gut motility.
-Weight gain irregardless of diet modifications.
-Overall slowing of metabolism is common. -Increased metabolism (rare)
-Excessive gut motility leading to chronic diarrhea and weight loss.
(less common)
-Sensitivity to touch. Mild pat on the arm or squeeze of the hand can
cause excruciating pain especially right after an episode or if the
patient has not had enough sleep.
-Decrease sensitivity to pain/touch in certain areas. If standing or
sitting too long causes hands and feet to turn cold and blue, patient
will have decreased sensation in these areas due to poor blood flow.
-Taste and appetite changes. Fruits and other acidic foods may taste
extremely acidic. Foods may taste differently if patient is tired,
stressed, or post-syncopal episode.
-Hair loss due to decreased blood supply to hair folicles.
-Speech disturbances: Inability to finish an expressed thought, loss
of train of thought, "spoonerisms", especially if up and about for 2
hours or more without lying flat and resting.
-Comprehension difficulties. Inability to follow a conversation. May
hear words but is unable to understand their context in the sentence.
Cannot focus on more than one activity at a time. May not realize
they are being addressed. Losses conversation focus when topic is
changed. Is easily distracted from the conversation focus by any
environmental stimuli.
-Memory recall deficits in long and short term memory. Improves with
lying down and resting.
-Abdominal migraines. Severe stomach pain triggered by large meal or
by sitting or standing too long. Usually resolves if patient lies
quietly.
-Drifting to the right or left when walking. Most commonly patients
report drifting to the left. Many patients report always fainting to
the left as well. Appears to be unrelated to hand-dominance, but
further research is needed.
-Tend to have mild symptoms of Ehlers-Danlos, but do not necessarily
test positive for the disease. This includes hypermobile joints,
double joints, and soft, velvet-like skin that has little or no
texture.
-Often has another auto-immune disorder.
-Family History of auto-immune disorder or symptoms that resemble
autonomic dysfunction.
-Appears to have more viral illnesses than general population. Often
diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome.
So now that we got that covered I wanted to add in this a update kinda. Well I have kinda a newish symptom, I haven't really said anything about it, because I was seeing if it would just go away I guess, and because its not as major as everything else! Well I have been having kind like stomach cramps, I guess they don't last long, and I mainly get them after eating, but not always. I also have been having more nausea recently, like its not that bad, its more like it has been for a while, like where I wouldn't consider it a symptom, just something that kinda is sometimes there just more frequently than it was. Well thats really it to add to everything else!
I really fit POTS perfectly, like when I read about it for the first time a light bulb went off, and I was like wow this is me! Which I love that feeling!
Earlier today I was sitting in my psychologist appointment, and I got what people with POTS describe sometimes, which this is not the first time I have gotten this, I have gotten hundreds of times! And I also noticed when I was in the hospital in PT and stuff I got what everyone describes when they do any type of physical activity! A few times they even took me up stairs to get my blood pressure and pulse, because it had been really high, and every time it was really high! And also POTS people say when they stand there pulse and blood pressure go up a lot, well in the hospital at one point they wanted to take it laying, than siting, and than had me stand and take it, because I was passing out and getting really dizzy when I sat up and stuff. They were like well that's weird we expected your pulse and blood pressure to drop when your sitting and standing and that's what would be causing this, but instead it went up a lot, well that's what happens in POTS!
So now what is autonomic dysfunction!?
Dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) is known as dysautonomia. The autonomic nervous system regulates unconscious body functions, including heart rate, blood pressure, temperature regulation, gastrointestinal secretion, and metabolic and endocrine responses to stress such as the "fight or flight" syndrome. As regulating these functions involves various and multiple organ systems, dysfunctions of the autonomic nervous systems encompass various and multiple disorders.
Persons with autonomic dysfunction who do not exhibit the classical symptoms of orthostatic hypotension may exhibit a less dramatic dysfunction termed orthostatic intolerance. These patients experience a milder fall in blood pressure when attempting to stand. However, because the patients have an increased heart rate when standing, they are described as having postural tachycardia syndrome (POTS).
Symptoms of Autonomic Dysfunction
-Dizziness
-Lightheadedness
-Vertigo (room spinning or the sensation of spinning)
-Feeling faint (pre-syncope)
-Fainting (syncope)
-Chest pain or pressure
-Excessive fatigue
-Rapid heart rate (tachycardia)
-Stomach pain
-Intestinal cramping
-Nausea
-Vomiting
-Retching
-Exercise Intolerance: becoming short of breath on mild exertion,
having chest pain or palpitations on mild exertion. Having excessive
heart rate during or immediately after exercise. Leg cramps or
numbness of arms and legs during or after mild exercise.
-Visible pooling in arms and legs: Deep purple-red color in fingers
and toes.
-White appearance of fingers. Some present with white patches of skin
on arms and legs.
-Extremely cold hands and feet.
-Numbness of hands and feet.
-Muscle weakness
-Muscle and joint pain
-Tremors or mild shaking of hands
-Frequent headaches or migraine headaches
-Irritability due to decreased blood flow to the brain
-Feeling anxious/Having panic attacks due to increased production of
adrenaline
-Mood changes
-Forgetfullness
-Inability to concentrate or remember (frequently referred to
as "brain fog")
-Inability to tolerate changes in temperature
-Decreased sweating or excessive sweating
-Abnormal deep tendon reflexes may or may not be present.
-Basic neurological exam is normal.
-Intelligence normal when receiving adequate cerebral perfusion.
Less frequently recognized signs and symptoms:
-Insomnia
-Disruption of sleep/wake cycle usually consisting of increased
energy late in the evening and lowest energy level in the morning
irregardless of amount or quality of sleep.
-Central sleep apnea
-Need to sleep 12-14 hours in order to complete simple activities of
daily living.
-Anoxic or convulsive seizures that are not epileptic.
-Frequent need to urinate at night.
-Upon standing feels head is "heavy". This resolves with lying down
or with walking around.
-Decrease in (or absence of) lubricating tears in the eye.
-Sensitivity to bright, florescent light and bright sunlight. Many patients report feeling pre-syncopal in large grocery stores and
department stores that use excessive florescent lighting. Flashing
lights and multi-colored lighting can also produce symptoms.
-Visual distortion: Television screens and computer screens can
appear distorted, especially post-syncopal or pre-syncopal episode.
Flat screens are recommended.
-Distorted depth perception resulting in a feeling of unsteadiness.
Often appears to be "clumsy" or excessively cautious when climbing
stairs, reaching for an object, etc.
-Other visual disturbances include a graying out or blacking out of
the visual field; either partially or completely.
-Decreased awareness of what is in the peripheral visual field. This
often causes the patient to startle because they did not perceive
anyone or anything next to them.
-Frequent "bumping into things". Attributed to a combination of
visual and depth perception deficits.
-Noise sensitivity. Loud or beating sounds can cause pre-syncopal
episodes. Difficulty filtering out sounds. Easily distracted by
sounds.
-Sensitivity to odors, even pleasant smelling chemicals such as
perfume. Odors such as cleaning products, gasoline, strong foods,
etc. may cause extreme nausea, retching, vomiting, dizziness and
headache.
Decrease production of saliva or excessive production of saliva.
-Severe constipation and decreased gut motility.
-Weight gain irregardless of diet modifications.
-Overall slowing of metabolism is common. -Increased metabolism (rare)
-Excessive gut motility leading to chronic diarrhea and weight loss.
(less common)
-Sensitivity to touch. Mild pat on the arm or squeeze of the hand can
cause excruciating pain especially right after an episode or if the
patient has not had enough sleep.
-Decrease sensitivity to pain/touch in certain areas. If standing or
sitting too long causes hands and feet to turn cold and blue, patient
will have decreased sensation in these areas due to poor blood flow.
-Taste and appetite changes. Fruits and other acidic foods may taste
extremely acidic. Foods may taste differently if patient is tired,
stressed, or post-syncopal episode.
-Hair loss due to decreased blood supply to hair folicles.
-Speech disturbances: Inability to finish an expressed thought, loss
of train of thought, "spoonerisms", especially if up and about for 2
hours or more without lying flat and resting.
-Comprehension difficulties. Inability to follow a conversation. May
hear words but is unable to understand their context in the sentence.
Cannot focus on more than one activity at a time. May not realize
they are being addressed. Losses conversation focus when topic is
changed. Is easily distracted from the conversation focus by any
environmental stimuli.
-Memory recall deficits in long and short term memory. Improves with
lying down and resting.
-Abdominal migraines. Severe stomach pain triggered by large meal or
by sitting or standing too long. Usually resolves if patient lies
quietly.
-Drifting to the right or left when walking. Most commonly patients
report drifting to the left. Many patients report always fainting to
the left as well. Appears to be unrelated to hand-dominance, but
further research is needed.
-Tend to have mild symptoms of Ehlers-Danlos, but do not necessarily
test positive for the disease. This includes hypermobile joints,
double joints, and soft, velvet-like skin that has little or no
texture.
-Often has another auto-immune disorder.
-Family History of auto-immune disorder or symptoms that resemble
autonomic dysfunction.
-Appears to have more viral illnesses than general population. Often
diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome.
So now that we got that covered I wanted to add in this a update kinda. Well I have kinda a newish symptom, I haven't really said anything about it, because I was seeing if it would just go away I guess, and because its not as major as everything else! Well I have been having kind like stomach cramps, I guess they don't last long, and I mainly get them after eating, but not always. I also have been having more nausea recently, like its not that bad, its more like it has been for a while, like where I wouldn't consider it a symptom, just something that kinda is sometimes there just more frequently than it was. Well thats really it to add to everything else!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Want To Go To Bed And Never Wake Up!
I am glad I had my few days of a tiny bit of relief, if you could call it that, but now its all catching back up! I am in so much pain, weak, and to top it off I have a cold!
My ribs are so incredibly painful, my spine hurts bad, and my lungs hurt!
Have been getting some tremors. Err I thought the medication was helping with that!
And last night I woke up, and from like my shoulders down, I felt like they were super heavy, and I couldnt move! Which I am not sure if I could move because I didnt actually try, not sure why I wouldnt!
Well I guess I am going to try and sleep, and eat something!
I wanted to share this song with you guys, its a original song by this girl names Casey Cattie. The song is call Back To You!
My ribs are so incredibly painful, my spine hurts bad, and my lungs hurt!
Have been getting some tremors. Err I thought the medication was helping with that!
And last night I woke up, and from like my shoulders down, I felt like they were super heavy, and I couldnt move! Which I am not sure if I could move because I didnt actually try, not sure why I wouldnt!
Well I guess I am going to try and sleep, and eat something!
I wanted to share this song with you guys, its a original song by this girl names Casey Cattie. The song is call Back To You!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Uhh Bad Night! :(
"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have"
I had a few good days, where I felt a tiny bit better, and now I guess is pay back for everything I did on those few days! I cant breathe, I just want to scream! I literally can not move at all, without extreme pains! Every breathe I take feels like my last! Why, does it have to be like this? I thought maybe things were looking up for me, and I was going to slowly get better, but nope I was wrong! I guess god just decided to give me a few days with a little less pain. My ribs are insanely painful, I just want to go to bed and never wake up!
I don't know how much longer I will be able to handle this, I don't want to live my whole life feeling this way! I pray I can find something to even help a little with this horrible pain!
I had a few good days, where I felt a tiny bit better, and now I guess is pay back for everything I did on those few days! I cant breathe, I just want to scream! I literally can not move at all, without extreme pains! Every breathe I take feels like my last! Why, does it have to be like this? I thought maybe things were looking up for me, and I was going to slowly get better, but nope I was wrong! I guess god just decided to give me a few days with a little less pain. My ribs are insanely painful, I just want to go to bed and never wake up!
I don't know how much longer I will be able to handle this, I don't want to live my whole life feeling this way! I pray I can find something to even help a little with this horrible pain!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Just As I Thought Things Were Looking A Lil Better......
I had finally thought things were looking a tiny bit better, and everything just goes back to "normal"
I feel like cutting my leg off again, lungs hurt, hurts to breathe, and just feel like crap all over! And today I actually cried, of course no one was home! But it felt good, to let some out, I needed that.
Something was helping my tremors, but now my hands feel pretty weak, and a little twitchy, not exactly tremors but twitches! Gonna spend some time on six billion secrets, and than try and go to bed.
I have a song to share with you guys....The other day two of my friends wouldn't quit talking about how they think god isn't real, and the bible didn't make any since, which how would they know, they don't know one bit of the bible!? All I could think about is look around, how could you think god isn't real? Honestly I feel sorry for them, and hope they can find god, and realize how amazing he is!
So here is the song I wanted to share it is Trent Willmon-There Is A God
I feel like cutting my leg off again, lungs hurt, hurts to breathe, and just feel like crap all over! And today I actually cried, of course no one was home! But it felt good, to let some out, I needed that.
Something was helping my tremors, but now my hands feel pretty weak, and a little twitchy, not exactly tremors but twitches! Gonna spend some time on six billion secrets, and than try and go to bed.
I have a song to share with you guys....The other day two of my friends wouldn't quit talking about how they think god isn't real, and the bible didn't make any since, which how would they know, they don't know one bit of the bible!? All I could think about is look around, how could you think god isn't real? Honestly I feel sorry for them, and hope they can find god, and realize how amazing he is!
So here is the song I wanted to share it is Trent Willmon-There Is A God
Have not been on in a while!
No I am not abandoning this page, because I opened another I just have not had really anything to write about, although I can say I kinda stopped doing song of the day obviously! Haha. It got a little old, so I stopped it, but anyways here is a small update.
I do not believe I wrote on here about my recent fall? Anyways a few weeks ago, my grandparents were on there way back from Colorado, to Rockport, and they stayed here Wensday night. I decided I was going to have my first day back riding horses, on Thursday so they could come, and watch. Well everything was going great, other than the fact that I was a little rusty, and Cherokee, seemed a little sensitive although I did not realize any cuts or anything while grooming and tacking up. Well we went to canter/lope on the lunge line, and let me remind you I ride bareback and bridleless! So we were going great, and looked good until the lunge line decided to break off! What!? Yes it broke! So Cherokee takes off, and I guess I hit my heal on him and he went into a gallop, and I was thrown off! I landed completely on my lower back first, than hit my head, causing my helmet to listen, and pretty much come off. Well one trainer ranch over to my side, and quickly my trainer was over there too. They gently removed my helmet, and realized I was having some trouble breathing, and asked me if it hurt to breathe, yes it did, so they wanted to get me on my side to open my airways. Well pain shot through my back when they barley moved me to they layed me falt, and decided I shouldnt be moved, and we should call a ambulance, but I didnt want them to call! So I laid there for a while beofre we were able to get me up and take me to her office to lay on the couch. Another 15 minutes go by and she says she wants me to go to the hospital. So I spent the night in the hospital, and the next day barley able to move! I am still recovering but am doing better.
I do not believe I wrote on here about my recent fall? Anyways a few weeks ago, my grandparents were on there way back from Colorado, to Rockport, and they stayed here Wensday night. I decided I was going to have my first day back riding horses, on Thursday so they could come, and watch. Well everything was going great, other than the fact that I was a little rusty, and Cherokee, seemed a little sensitive although I did not realize any cuts or anything while grooming and tacking up. Well we went to canter/lope on the lunge line, and let me remind you I ride bareback and bridleless! So we were going great, and looked good until the lunge line decided to break off! What!? Yes it broke! So Cherokee takes off, and I guess I hit my heal on him and he went into a gallop, and I was thrown off! I landed completely on my lower back first, than hit my head, causing my helmet to listen, and pretty much come off. Well one trainer ranch over to my side, and quickly my trainer was over there too. They gently removed my helmet, and realized I was having some trouble breathing, and asked me if it hurt to breathe, yes it did, so they wanted to get me on my side to open my airways. Well pain shot through my back when they barley moved me to they layed me falt, and decided I shouldnt be moved, and we should call a ambulance, but I didnt want them to call! So I laid there for a while beofre we were able to get me up and take me to her office to lay on the couch. Another 15 minutes go by and she says she wants me to go to the hospital. So I spent the night in the hospital, and the next day barley able to move! I am still recovering but am doing better.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
New blog!
I have a new blog called Horses Give You Strength.
It is going to be a blog all about horses, my first post is about how horses help people with physical and mental disabilities. Please check it out!
http://horsesgiveyoustrength.blogspot.com/
It is going to be a blog all about horses, my first post is about how horses help people with physical and mental disabilities. Please check it out!
http://horsesgiveyoustrength.blogspot.com/
If I Could Have Anything In The World.....
If I could have anything in the world, it would be a best friend, someone to get me through all the hard times. Someone to be there for me no matter what. Someone I can always trust, someone to teach me. Someone to make me happy, when nothing else can. If I could have anything in the world it would be a horse. Everyday at 11:11 I wish for one thing, a horse, and I know someday my wish WILL come true! Even if I cant own I horse I just wish I could at least lease one!
Now enjoy this video I made! :)
Now enjoy this video I made! :)
Monday, October 3, 2011
Yet Again, Today Sucks!
I am not going to write much but today has pretty much sucked. My lungs hurt, it hurts to breath, my ribs and back are killing me. I had to do more typing for school today so my hands keep twitching and I am getting tremors in them! Which caused me to pretty much screw up in that class today. I am so tired too, I dont even feel like moving. I am stressing out about school so much, so thats probably why things are worse, I just want to drop out!
I know I barley wrote anything but really not feeling up to writing so sorry, maybe I will write more tonight!
I know I barley wrote anything but really not feeling up to writing so sorry, maybe I will write more tonight!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Just A Vent Kinda.
I am so tired of people not taking me seriously, or just not believing me I guess. First off today we were talking about Halloween and I said to the guy that was with us, you should have a party, your the only one out of us who actually has money to do anything and my other friend agrees and I said yeah me and her cant afford anything. His reply was dont even play the poor card like her you have money dont lie. I was like umm do you know how much dept we have because of medical bills? And my other friend backed me up. But really why would I lie about that? Maybe I dont talk about it like my other friend but thats because its personal and its not like I want everyone knowing I dont have any money.
And my mom, again with my mom, she just doesn't believe me when I say oww that hurt! Like the other day she sprayed water on my leg from on of those spray bottles you iron with, and I flinched and said oww that hurt, and she just rolled her eyes and was like are you serious its water. Umm yes and I have RSD and it hurts me really badly, maybe I don't show how bad it actually hurts like I used to but it does! And today she hit my leg with her computer cord and I did the same thing and she was like seriously it barley even hit you, well yes it barley hit me but it felt like you just stabbed me!
And the other night, the same friend as the one above, called wanting me to go to this thing and I said no my parents said I couldn't go its not in a safe area, which was true but in all honesty I wasn't gonna go anyway because I didn't feel like going. Well he starts yelling and cussing at me saying I didn't even ask, and he hates me and all that because I wont go! And he wouldn't believe me that they said NO! Well than I decide to make other plans to hang with my cousin and people she knows, well he calls and talks all nice and was like so we are not gonna go there anymore so wanna go with us somewhere else? So of course I was pissed at him so I was gonna be short so I just said no and he gets kinda pissed and says why and I said I made plans with other people and then he just said whatever and hung up.
And my mom, again with my mom, she just doesn't believe me when I say oww that hurt! Like the other day she sprayed water on my leg from on of those spray bottles you iron with, and I flinched and said oww that hurt, and she just rolled her eyes and was like are you serious its water. Umm yes and I have RSD and it hurts me really badly, maybe I don't show how bad it actually hurts like I used to but it does! And today she hit my leg with her computer cord and I did the same thing and she was like seriously it barley even hit you, well yes it barley hit me but it felt like you just stabbed me!
And the other night, the same friend as the one above, called wanting me to go to this thing and I said no my parents said I couldn't go its not in a safe area, which was true but in all honesty I wasn't gonna go anyway because I didn't feel like going. Well he starts yelling and cussing at me saying I didn't even ask, and he hates me and all that because I wont go! And he wouldn't believe me that they said NO! Well than I decide to make other plans to hang with my cousin and people she knows, well he calls and talks all nice and was like so we are not gonna go there anymore so wanna go with us somewhere else? So of course I was pissed at him so I was gonna be short so I just said no and he gets kinda pissed and says why and I said I made plans with other people and then he just said whatever and hung up.
Song Of The Day!
The song for today is Wideawake- Maybe Tonight, Maybe Tomorrow
This song was written about someone very close to Scott, the lead singer, this song was on itunes and all of the proceeds went to the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Although this song was written about cancer I think a lot of different illnesses can fit this song.
This song was written about someone very close to Scott, the lead singer, this song was on itunes and all of the proceeds went to the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Although this song was written about cancer I think a lot of different illnesses can fit this song.
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