So lets see still paying for Halloween night of course! And today I had a doctors appointment with the PM, who I dont really like. Today she just pissed me off, and said some things that really just got me! She says, my son had heart surgery, and he ran a 5k yesterday and he is getting good grades in school, and if he can than so can you, you can not use pain as a excuse to that. Really right there I wanted to say "You know what, that is not even a logical statement, my problems are completely different than his, and that just really just plan rude and I am offended"
I told a RSD friend what she said, and she said "My daughter who is blind just ran a marathon, it doesnt mean I can!" Exactly she tried to compare two completely different things, and what really ticked me off is she knows nothing about me, or my medical issues or how I feel! And she doesnt even think I have RSD, which I know I do, and she said I dont have the main symptoms, ummm the main symptom is sensitivity to touch and major pain. Last time I checked I have that, which she wouldnt know because she never asked or even checked!
Than she says that if I ate better, and didnt drink soda we would see a major change in things! Really wow, I never knew the reason I was in so much agony was because I drink soda, and dont eat 100% healthy, wow problem solved I better tell everyone there problems will go away if you eat and drink better amazing! Like really dont even try to say that to me, if my mom wouldnt have been there I would of said bullshit!
After today's appointment, and all the stress of just hearing her say hurtful things the whole time, I am in agony! I feel horrible, I didnt even feel like eating dinner I was in too much pain!
As many of you know its RSD awareness month, so I have been posting stuff about RSD on Facebook. Well my "Best Friend" Posted the yesterday, I hate when people fill up my news feed with there life problems, and all that, I dont want to read all that crap. I know that was probably aimed towards me, and that hurt knowing he could care less about what I deal with on a daily basis. Why cant anyone understand! I feel so alone, I have people who understand online, because they deal with what I do, but no one thats actually here with me that understands! Yesterday I asked my mom to get me something and my aunt taps me on the leg (Which why cant people get how bad that hurts me!) and than said "You have two legs, and your young you can get it yourself!" No one knows how bad that hurt to hear that, especially when I was already really upset. Right before she said that I had found out about something that really upset me.
My brothers best friend, Graham, was killed in Afghanistan, in 2007 at the age of 19. It was said while he was on duty, the tower he was at, where they found him dead in was under attack, so they figured he was shot and died. Yesterday his mom posted, that as part of her healing process it was time to let people know that, the night he was on duty and died in the tower, he had committed suicide. I can not imagine what he must have seen and gone through over there to make him desperately want a way out of that place, which led him to make the choice of killing himself. I was young when in happened, but I remember him, and I remember the day my brother and parents went to the funeral. My brother still to this day says that was the worst of his life, and it will always be. Graham, you will always be in our hearts, and greatly missed. R.I.P Graham Harris.
So after hearing that and than my aunt saying what she did, and than now today the doctors appointment, it is just really hitting me hard.
Right now I can barley breathe, with the agonizing pain, and keep having to hold my breath.
I am going to try and make a tribute video for Graham, for veterans day, and I will post it on here, and facebook!
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