Maybe if i weren't so good at faking that I'm okay, someone would see through it and know that I'm not.
I wish some people could read my mind and know how I really feel on the inside rather than seeing my lies on the outside...
When I cry at night, the only thing I can think to myself is...how can I seem so perfectly fine in the morning. Why do I smile like nothing is wrong? And how does not one single person notice that I'm not okay?
I really wonder if anyone would notice if I quit faking it? I think about trying it but somehow I always still fake it even when I don't want to.
Do you think its easy being me? Do you think its easy putting on the act that I do everyday? I smile when all I want to do is cry... I laugh when all I want to do is die.. I want to tell everyone how my world falls apart each night when I am laying in bed with tears in my eyes, pleading with god to help me. I want to let everyone know what it is like to be me, pretending to be happy...
I don't want to pretend I'm alright any longer but I have done it so long it just come natural. Maybe someday I can break these walls down and take the smile off my face.
No one ever taught me what to do when my whole world is falling apart around me. So what am I supposed to do?
I don't know what to do anymore I'm failing apart and no one notices. I'm dying and no one cares to help. I'm breaking and no one tries to put me back together.
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