Nothing helps me feel better, that I can actually use, not that there actually doing anything anyway. There too busy focusing on one illness to realize that I have other problems, maybe the reason I am not getting to much relief from Ketamine is because the Ketamine is a treatment for RSD, so it is probably working for the RSD, but not working for whatever else I have going on. Maybe that's why nothing is working, but they aren't ever going to realize that.
I was looking forward to going to Georgia because than I could finally get more answers and than maybe they can try and treat everything else that's going on and we can actually make progress, but now my parents made me a appointment in San Diego for the RSD and cancelled the Georgia one!
I think it is a waste of money honestly, it is going to cost us thousands of dollars, to treat the RSD, not everything else going on! I think we should of gone to Georgia first and than see what happens. Say I do have Mitochondrial Disease or something else, than we could start treatment and see how it works. What if the Ketamine is completely getting rid of the RSD (Temporary) since afterwards I get down to a 6, and than the number 6 pain is caused by whatever else? I don't know why they haven't considered that.
I really have nothing to look forward to, and I am not getting my hopes up on feeling better just to fuck myself up more because once again it failed. I can't take another failed treatment.
It sucks to think the one thing that I have tried that actually helped me feel better, and made me actually kinda happy, is illegal and I can't even use it. It makes me want to move, even though I love Texas, I really just want to feel better and be happy and that's not working for me here. Now I realize why so many people do whatever they can to do it, if I didn't live with my parents I could probably get away with it.
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