Just As I Thought Things Were Looking A Lil Better......

I had finally thought things were looking a tiny bit better, and everything just goes back to "normal"
I feel like cutting my leg off again, lungs hurt, hurts to breathe, and just feel like crap all over! And today I actually cried, of course no one was home! But it felt good, to let some out, I needed that.
Something was helping my tremors, but now my hands feel pretty weak, and a little twitchy, not exactly tremors but twitches! Gonna spend some time on six billion secrets, and than try and go to bed.

I have a song to share with you guys....The other day two of my friends wouldn't quit talking about how they think god isn't real, and the bible didn't make any since, which how would they know, they don't know one bit of the bible!? All I could think about is look around, how could you think god isn't real? Honestly I feel sorry for them, and hope they can find god, and realize how amazing he is!
So here is the song I wanted to share it is Trent Willmon-There Is A God

Have not been on in a while!

No I am not abandoning this page, because I opened another I just have not had really anything to write about, although I can say I kinda stopped doing song of the day obviously! Haha. It got a little old, so I stopped it, but anyways here is a small update.
I do not believe I wrote on here about my recent fall? Anyways a few weeks ago, my grandparents were on there way back from Colorado, to Rockport, and they stayed here Wensday night. I decided I was going to have my first day back riding horses, on Thursday so they could come, and watch. Well everything was going great, other than the fact that I was a little rusty, and Cherokee, seemed a little sensitive although I did not realize any cuts or anything while grooming and tacking up. Well we went to canter/lope on the lunge line, and let me remind you I ride bareback and bridleless! So we were going great, and looked good until the lunge line decided to break off! What!? Yes it broke! So Cherokee takes off, and I guess I hit my heal on him and he went into a gallop, and I was thrown off! I landed completely on my lower back first, than hit my head, causing my helmet to listen, and pretty much come off. Well one trainer ranch over to my side, and quickly my trainer was over there too. They gently removed my helmet, and realized I was having some trouble breathing, and asked me if it hurt to breathe, yes it did, so they wanted to get me on my side to open my airways. Well pain shot through my back when they barley moved me to they layed me falt, and decided I shouldnt be moved, and we should call a ambulance, but I didnt want them to call! So I laid there for a while beofre we were able to get me up and take me to her office to lay on the couch. Another 15 minutes go by and she says she wants me to go to the hospital. So I spent the night in the hospital, and the next day barley able to move! I am still recovering but am doing better.

New blog!

I have a new blog called Horses Give You Strength.
It is going to be a blog all about horses, my first post is about how horses help people with physical and mental disabilities. Please check it out!
http://horsesgiveyoustrength.blogspot.com/

If I Could Have Anything In The World.....

If I could have anything in the world, it would be a best friend, someone to get me through all the hard times. Someone to be there for me no matter what. Someone I can always trust, someone to teach me. Someone to make me happy, when nothing else can.  If I could have anything in the world it would be a horse. Everyday at 11:11 I wish for one thing, a horse, and I know someday my wish WILL come true! Even if I cant own I horse I just wish I could at least lease one!
Now enjoy this video I made! :)

Yet Again, Today Sucks!

I am not going to write much but today has pretty much sucked. My lungs hurt, it hurts to breath, my ribs and back are killing me. I had to do more typing for school today so my hands keep twitching and I am getting tremors in them! Which caused me to pretty much screw up in that class today. I am so tired too, I dont even feel like moving. I am stressing out about school so much, so thats probably why things are worse, I just want to drop out!
I know I barley wrote anything but really not feeling up to writing so sorry, maybe I will write more tonight!

Just A Vent Kinda.

I am so tired of people not taking me seriously, or just not believing me I guess. First off today we were talking about Halloween and I said to the guy that was with us, you should have a party, your the only one out of us who actually has money to do anything and my other friend agrees and I said yeah me and her cant afford anything. His reply was dont even play the poor card like her you have money dont lie. I was like umm do you know how much dept we have because of medical bills? And my other friend backed me up. But really why would I lie about that? Maybe I dont talk about it like my other friend but thats because its personal and its not like I want everyone knowing I dont have any money.
And my mom, again with my mom, she just doesn't believe me when I say oww that hurt! Like the other day she sprayed water on my leg from on of those spray bottles you iron with, and I flinched and said oww that hurt, and she just rolled her eyes and was like are you serious its water. Umm yes and I have RSD and it hurts me really badly, maybe I don't show how bad it actually hurts like I used to but it does! And today she hit my leg with her computer cord and I did the same thing and she was like seriously it barley even hit you, well yes it barley hit me but it felt like you just stabbed me!
And the other night, the same friend as the one above, called wanting me to go to this thing and I said no my parents said I couldn't go its not in a safe area, which was true but in all honesty I wasn't gonna go anyway because I didn't feel like going. Well he starts yelling and cussing at me saying I didn't even ask, and he hates me and all that because I wont go! And he wouldn't believe me that they said NO! Well than I decide to make other plans to hang with my cousin and people she knows, well he calls and talks all nice and was like so we are not gonna go there anymore so wanna go with us somewhere else? So of course I was pissed at him so I was gonna be short so I just said no and he gets kinda pissed and says why and I said I made plans with other people and then he just said whatever and hung up.

Song Of The Day!

The song for today is Wideawake- Maybe Tonight, Maybe Tomorrow
This song was written about someone very close to Scott, the lead singer, this song was on itunes and all of the proceeds went to the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Although this song was written about cancer I think a lot of different illnesses can fit this song.